Circle of Hope

Offered by Rob Wetherington, a member of the Men’s Retreat mission team.

Writing about the Men’s Retreat isn’t something that comes easily. It’s like explaining a cloud or building an electromagnet: sure there is structure, planning, and some kind of logical explanation, but it feels more like magic than science. Something happens when nearly a hundred men get together with the intent to leave their comfort zones and when the Spirit moves amongst those men it is nearly tangible.

This year we started planning a little late and along the way there were various levels of confusion and miscommunication. I tried to get to Kenbrook earlier this year than I had in the past to prevent personal stress and to be proactive in problem solving, but by the time we arrived it was nearly dark. I had a moment, maybe five minutes after I stepped out of the car, where I was about to boil over from frustration. This undirected and unproductive feeling was clouding my view of the place I had been so excited to venture… until a friend said something along the lines of, “Rob! You’re here! In each of your dialogue posts I could see you getting more excited… I assumed that when you arrived you’d explode!” He didn’t know what was going on inside of me, but his words rang true. In that moment I got a kick in the seat as I realized none of this was about me, or “preemptive problem-solving”, or the slickness of presentation, or how deep each talk was, or any of the other little things that cloud our perspectives. The Men’s Retreat is about guys getting together and getting out of the way so the Spirit might move.
Obviously planning has to happen. Of course there are logistics and intent. There is flexibility and foresight. But, at the core, the reason we do this every year isn’t to put on some well-designed and impressive conference. The reason we do this is so we can get real with each other and develop face-to-face relationships across the network. To share our abilities and our struggles while letting other men know/be reminded that running this race isn’t easy – but when we share and when we stop hiding behind broken facades good things… magical things… great faith building experiences can happen.

For me personally there were many of those great faith-building experiences this year and, from what I’ve heard, there were many for other men who came along. One moment that sticks out as I reflect and try to share what happened was at our early Morning Prayer walk on Saturday. I had stayed up late the night before playing Phase Ten – things get pretty wild when you’re out in the woods, and when I got to my bunk I was exhausted. I slept off and on that first night because I was worried I was going to oversleep and miss the prayer walk, which would have been epic because I was supposed to lead it. I woke up well before my alarm and came to terms with the fact that I wasn’t going to be able to sleep. I prayed for a while and then headed to the field were we were supposed to meet in a little over an hour. I walked the parameter of the field one and a half times before I found the entrance to the trail and, with the clock ticking, made my way up to see what was in store. I didn’t want to lead the men on this contemplative journey if I didn’t know where I was taking them. As I walked the trail I noted the debris that had fallen, which was most likely from the hurricane this past fall. There were small trees and overgrowth, but the real challenge came where two trails were to meet and there were two giant trees blocking the path. I found a way through the first tree’s branches, but there wasn’t a way in the second. I looped around and figured out how to get back to the trail by going off course a little. I went back to field and met the men while they were gathering. Before leading the walk I spoke of our paths of life. The trails we’ve trod and the obstacles we’ve overcome; encouraging the men to note the debris on the path we were about to walk together. And, finally, to contemplate the mentors who have gone before us – those that cleared the path or could guide us through in our lives. My second time through I was able to enter into the contemplative nature of the prayer walk because I didn’t have to worry about what was around the corner. I already knew the path and felt confident that I wouldn’t be surprised by a felled tree or blocked way. I remembered men and women from my childhood whom I hadn’t thought of in decades. I was reminded of friends and experiences in the past year as I’ve been continually shaped and molded. I felt a kinship and a brotherhood with the men as we walked together and an immeasurable peace that the same God who makes trees grow and fall also provides a way around.

The rest of the weekend played out in a similar way. There were fallen trees and cluttered paths, but, in the end, the Spirit led as ways around were provided. We’ve already started preparing for next year’s retreat. If you’d like to be a part of that process then feel free to get in touch with me or any of the other men on the team.