Monthly Archive for October, 2007

ask what you will

Published
by
Robert Lairmore
on October 30, 2007
in Dialogue, Interact and Uncategorized
. 3 Comments
A man will get from life everything he asks for, because he does not ask for that which his will is not in. If a man asks wealth from life, he will get wealth, or he was playing the fool when he asked. ‘If ye abide in me.’ says Jesus, ‘and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.’ We pray pious blether, our will is not in it, and then we say God does not answer; we never asked him for anything. Asking means that our wills are in what we ask.

You say, ‘But I asked God to turn my life into a garden of the Lord, and there came the ploughshare of sorrow, and instead of a garden I have been given a wilderness.’ God never gives a wrong answer. The garden of your natural life had to be turned into ploughed soil before God could turn it into a garden of the Lord. He will put the seed in now. Let God’s seasons come over your soul, and before long your life will be a garden of the Lord.

As I read though this devotion by Oswald Chambers last night, I thought a lot of different things. Initially, my gut response was to be repelled by what appeared to be fuel for prosperity preaching. But after allowing my mind to wander into all of the reasons I’m repulsed by this line of teaching, I realized Chambers had something in mind much deeper.

What slowly began to sink into me was the emphasis that Chambers puts into the word ‘will’ that Jesus uses. Before, I had always read

this passage by interpreting ‘will’ as what I wanted. Chambers deepens this by transforming ‘will’ into something that’s at my inner most being. It is my passion. It is my might. We cannot expect to receive things that we do not truly want. I cannot expect to lose weight no matter how hard I pray if I have an open bag of Oreo’s in my lap.

Now this does not mean I do not ask for things that are too hard for me. No, Jesus tells us to ask, seek and knock. Another time he tells us of the man who so desperately needs bread for his newly arrived guest that he continues to pound away at his neighbors door, even though it is the middle of the night, until the other man relents. It is like Lewis’ phantom with the red lizard. We cannot expect our inner most desires to be changed with the first halfhearted and often dishonest request. But it is with this constant repetition of asking that we begin to trust that our request can be answered. Then we begin to realize that God can take our oftentimes misguided request and transform it into something that is far more beautiful than we could have initially imagined. ‘By our prayers we come to discern the [heart] of God.’

mourning Eden

Published
by
Joel McIntosh
on October 23, 2007
in Community, Dialogue and Peace
. 1 Comment

I couldn’t help but be annoyed at the truck that slowed down and pulled right in front of me as I was about to cross the street, only half a block from my house- “What is he doing?”. I saw the driver glancing hastily across the street. The slowing down of the truck incited a quickness of pace in two ladies walking across the street. After a quick exchange between the two, the two ladies ran to the corner, one splitting across the street and the other yelling to her companion, in a warning yet caring tone, “Be careful, baby!”. Looking around suspiciously, she walked to the mans car and got in. Few other assumptions could be made at this point about the nature of this encounter, this road was being used once again for a sexual encounter drive-through. It was not quite 9 a.m. I carried short sequence of happenings in my mind for the rest of the day, and the for the following week, really.

Why does this reality take the form of an oppressive weight my soul? I think of the life of the woman crossing the street, and the events that might have led up to her life being what it is. I think of the man in the car; what absence of human relationship does he have that he needs to pay for the fleeting ecstasy of sex? I think of the kids passing on their way to school, who are well aware of what has just happened. They simply make fun of it.

Let me not be sharing this to further drive guilt or hopelessness in anyone’s heart. Most can empathize with the heaviness that the realization of personal and systematic evil can bring on the heart. But I suspect that many of us, and I give myself as an example at this point, experience this and continue our regular fast paced lifestyle, running like a prisoner hoping senselessly that his shackles will be shed by treading at a faster pace. At many different points in my life I’ve been presented with the phrase “we live in a fallen world” (sound familiar?), but is sadly often used as a passive justification for acceptance of evil. I don’t suggest this as a good response either. But, as followers of Jesus, I suggest we allow ourselves to feel the pain that surrounds us, and give ourselves time to weep for the corruption in the world (and that we are part of, in some way). The teachings of narratives in Genesis come to mind; the Garden of Eden being created in peace and for peace, and humans instead choosing to construct their own systems of power and idolatry.

Luke tells us of Jesus weeping over the city of Jerusalem, burdened with the reality that his message would not be accepted, that Jerusalem would not recognize the things that make for peace (Luke 19:41). I need to remind myself that it is OK to do this. I need to spend time mourning to the Creator for the seeming hopelessness that sometimes overwhelms. Our hands are indeed God’s hands for healing the brokenness of the world, but I need to allow myself to feel sorrow for the oppression and sin in it, too.

Lord, hear our prayer.

what’s your favorite Love Feast memory?

Published
by
Joshua
on October 19, 2007
in Action, Community, Dialogue, Family and Planning
. 9 Comments

I am especially excited right now because we’re getting ready for a night to celebrate, and do 2 of the things that Circle of Hope does best: loving and feasting.

We’ve had this quarterly tradition for about as long as we’ve been around (first feast in July of 1996), and each time there has been wonderful moments of people coming together to eat, meet someone new, to worship Jesus, share the communion meal, to tell/listen to stories, have lots of fun, and to welcome people who want to take that step out and make a covenant with the others of Circle of Hope.

Let’s make new LF memories…come Saturday October 27th:

6pm at “Union Tab” -2036 East Cumberland St (map here)

3pm (before the Feast), some people want to get baptized at our usual spot in the Wissahickon Creek (map here).

A fond Love Feast memory of mine was in the Summer of 2004 when we were in Fairmount Park in Germantown.  Before most of the festivities, about a hundred of us trekked through the woods and down the hill to get to that spot on the Wissahickon so people could get baptized.   Then we trekked back up and worshiped some more and told stories, filling up the field.   I love the image of us journeying together to meaningful stops through even tough terrain sometimes and then regrouping as a visible and physical representation that Jesus lives.

 

I want to see if we can generate some remembering and some conversations on this site to help show people what’s up with the Love Feast and what it’s about. So here’s a question that I hope you’ll answer in a comment below…what is a favorite Love Feast memory of yours over the years?

to plan or not to plan

Published
by
Rachel Sensenig
on October 17, 2007
in Action, Community, Dialogue and Planning
. 1 Comment

I had some funny moments a couple of days ago, in which I was reminded of the importance of planning, and the folly of my lack thereof.

I have this friend who is recovering from a major cancer surgery and will be basically bed-ridden for a few months. Some other friends and I were trying to clean up and create a little recovery room in her house so she could rest comfortably. I got excited about making some curtains and a tapestry wall hanging to cover a hole in the wall, all with some beautiful fabrics I was collecting from our thrift store. So I let the creative juices flow and got to work on my housemate’s sewing machine. After a few late nights, I had put together some things I thought were kinda nice, especially for a novice sewer like myself.

When I went to my friends’ house to put the finishing touches on the room, I ran into a few setbacks. This is embarrassing, but my curtains didn’t fit on the rods, they were too short for the windows, and the tapestry didn’t fully cover the hole in the wall. One could assume that one would measure things carefully before a little project like this, but I did not. I had lots of creativity and enthusiasm, but no preparation process. As a result, I spent the rest of the day and night (in between public meetings and other stuff) trying to alter my creations and go back to hang the stuff up. Of course this is not such a huge loss, but maybe with some careful planning ahead of time, things could have been simpler.

It makes me think about our mapping process. We are trying to plan and prepare for what’s next, as a community of truth-seekers (and finders). We know that God is speaking to us, so it seems like a good idea to recognize that and dialogue about it together. Our thought is that it’s important to be conscious of ourselves and our God, to measure and evaluate our past and present and let God’s voice guide us into the future. If you are like me, this process might seem a little unnecessary (we could just wing it, and good things might happen) or scary (now I’ll actually have to do the stuff that we say we do) or you might feel like you’re setting yourself up for failure. But how much beauty and goodness might we be with-holding from ourselves and others by not taking the risk? This intentional planning, combined with all of our enthusiasm and creative energy, could yield amazing results. What does God want us to do in this next year? What does it mean to be a Christian in our time and place? What has God been showing me? In what direction is God nudging you these days? What new growth is already springing up in our lives together? It seems that if we prepare for God to show up and do great things in us and among us, then we create the space for that to happen.

If we don’t plan, we might run around in circles. I can personally attest to this. More and more, I’m seeing a law of diminishing returns in and around me when things are left to their own devices. Usually good things don’t just “happen”on their own. I think that God is all about making good things happen, but our own creative energies and prayerful preparations seem pretty important to the process, and I’ve learned that from my friends here at Circle who have taken risks to plan and do stuff that God puts on their hearts.

I’m really thankful that the Spirit continues to work in spite of our abilities and intentions, but it does seem to matter what we do or don’t do. I guess we are really that important. Planning ahead hasn’t always been my strong suit, but I plan to jump into the process with you all this season. We’ll see what God can do with us.

Battling Systemic Racism

Published
by
Paul Kohl
on October 10, 2007
in Community, Dialogue, Interact and Peace
. 3 Comments

Systemic Racism is on my heart. I know about it, I have been taught about the backpack of white privilege. I have seen good work in the area of reconciliation. I have made and kept specific friendships. All this adds not to my absolution but to my ability to continue the battle. Being antiracist is not a destination but a process. The process requires self analysis, social analysis, and a life with the Holy Spirit. As I get older I realize just how far we have to go, just how hard it is and just how hopeless and impotent one can feel in the face of it. Recently I was made even more aware of the power of it and have a distinct call to respond to the sin of it. The injustice of it can be quite motivating but as I get older I also see the practical limitations of it. Making a diverse team, at work in our church, is not just nice, it is powerful. If we continue to play by the rules of race, a myth, we continue to settle for less. I am tempted to think of racial reconciliation in terms of ‘wouldn’t it be nice.’ Now I see failure and lack, and I look to see that racism is at the heart of it, and not simply in the comparison of the haves with the have not but within the operational reality of our society. We all suffer not simply because it is wrong (which it is and we do) but also since we allow outward appearance to limit access to talent and disposition. All the above has been explained to me on previous occasions but now it makes more sense than ever. I may be in a position to effect change in this area at work unique to me at the present. I am excited.

a little slice of heaven

Published
by
Chris Puchalsky
on October 5, 2007
in Community, Dialogue and Family
. 2 Comments

do you ever get discouraged that the kingdom has not yet come on earth like it is in heaven? that the church, your community, and even yourself are good, but have not yet reached the fullness of God? me too. i yearn to pray more, have deeper community, and have my walk with Christ and the assembly of saints be more of a 24/7 kind of thing…

acts 2 (NIV):
42They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything in common.

when i start getting down with thoughts like those above, i can be encouraged by the fact that i/we are getting there. the retreat that my cell took a few weeks ago was part of that journey. someone in cell said “do we ever go on retreat.” and i said, “no, but we should.” i don’t think any of us had a real clear idea about what the “agenda” should be, but a month later we were sleeping in tents out in the country near by mother’s house.

we spend the weekend living out the words in acts 2. it felt great, because it was great. we devoted ourselves to the teaching of the apostles (we had several in-depth meditations on the book of james), to singing songs of praise, and to the breaking of bread and prayer; for at least a weekend we had everything in common.

was it an amazing, life changing, mountain top experience? maybe for some, but not me. for me it was rest, healing, and communion. it was a little slice of heaven, the kingdom on earth becoming what i see it being like in heaven - devoting ourselves 24/day to right relation with God and right relation with my brothers and sisters. amazing. i can’t wait for eternity.

cp

ps. mom’s apple pie was also like a little slice of heaven.

When Love of Community Distracts From God, kind of

Published
by
Daniel Pilger
on October 1, 2007
in Community, Dialogue and Family
. 4 Comments

Ever since I first started to be a part of a cell, I’ve appreciated that Circle of Hope does not just misuse the idea that Christianity is ‘a relationship, not a religion’, but that most people involved are really trying to live in that belief, both with God and with others. As a transplant to Philadelphia from an upstate New York suburb, my 20-something mind was not quite prepared for a church where relating to each other and knowing one another was more important than agreeing to abide by the same moral code. Suddenly, being a part of the body of Christ meant something to me and the significance of that has only grown in the past four years, enough so that I sometimes have the perspective that I am a part of the body of Christ before I am whatever I think being Daniel Pilger means (I am hoping to continue on in this and believe it more consistently).

One of the ways in which this has been liberating for me is that I no longer feel that I have an appropriated faith which my parents and youth group gave to me. Thankfully, right from the start I found Circle of Hope to be a safe place to be exactly who I am. In this time of being truly ‘on my own’ from my parents and whatever other construct I always felt had defined me, I was able to form and cultivate relationships with many people that I believed were trying to head in the direction of loving God and others more. How glad was I to be a part of a larger community that seemed eager to offer true friendship to me and allow me to offer what I could back?

However, I got scared when I noticed that my desire to make my own decisions and love this community was distracting me from actually spending time alone with God and following Christ closely. As I am sure that I am not the first person to get caught up in the community/body and (to whatever degree) lose sight of what truly binds us together, it was an upsetting thought that I might love this community more than I was loving God. In any number of conversations that I have had throughout my life, one of the things I find myself consistently dealing with is my tendency to ‘love the gift more than the giver’, to find myself believing so much in James’ declaration that ‘every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows’, that I find myself and my value in those gifts (in this situation, the many beautiful relationships I was finding myself a part of) more than in who I am in Christ. For someone like me that values friendships very highly, all the more so the more authentic and transparent they are, my sense of having found a ‘home’ (or at least a like-minded group of friends) in these people became a much larger distraction from my personal relationship with God than I could have imagined. Over time I began to do meditations every few days in an effort to find myself in a place where I could rest in knowing that God loves me. Forgive me if this sounds painfully basic, but that is the most important thing for me to focus on - to know that God loves me. Through this I found it much easier to be thankful to God, to actually be in a spirit of appreciation towards Him. The differences were not always easy to see outwardly, but there was a newness to the ways that I viewed my relationships; I still spent a lot of time with my friends, but I found myself able to love them individually, not just as a part of this large community I was so glad to be a part of, and to feel more that I was actually investing in their lives.

[I'd like to inject here that I spent a few years feeling like I had no value whatsoever, and this could probably turn into another blog - a book probably - about the importance of feeling, more importantly knowing, that we have any worth at all. I am sure I am not the only one who has felt this same thing, and while I'm sure we could all think of a number of reasons why this could be, I think it is important for each of us to know in a true way that we are valuable to God. Earlier in my life, the thought of trying to 'view myself as God views me' was not appealing because I had no idea how to do it and because I was so used to viewing myself in the way that I had for my entire cognitive life up to that point. Looking back it seems strange that I thought I could love others while at the same time not love myself, but I tried very hard to. All of this is not to say that I don't think I loved my friends in the past, but I believe I was a bit misguided in my efforts to do so.]

While I am still inconsistent with these, I have found the disciplines of solitude and meditation to be essential in keeping myself centered on finding my value in God. In the past months, I’ve questioned myself again and again: am I loving the community more than I am loving God? While sometimes it takes a few days of processing, I still answer yes sometimes and I must remind myself that while I find God among these people consistently, that they are not Him. I am trying hard to be renewed by God each day, to be a part of the forgiveness and redemption that Christ offers me (all of us), and to know that my worth comes from being loved by the Creator of all things, and be grateful for the many chances I am given to share that love with others.