With the start of the new year, I like to look back at my accomplishments and make goals for myself for the coming year. Looking back at 2007, I realized that in the past year I have been completely rejuvenated by new relationships. Connecting with other people and learning to share my life with new friends built my confidence and made me feel like I have something to offer and I can receive what God has to offer me.
This time last winter I was in a bad place. I had quit my full time job to try and start my own business, but didn’t know what I was doing. Working from home seemed like such a great idea until I realized that it meant me sitting in my house all winter by myself talking to my cat and feeling guilty because I couldn’t figure out how to get any work done. I was lonely and frustrated. I had a few friends that I hung out with every once in a while and my cell was not growing. My slow break out of my own self pity came simply from getting out of my house and meeting new people.
I was lucky enough to land an awesome job at Circle Thrift a few mornings a week, which made me feel like I had some purpose and got me to socialize a bit. My cell also had a growth spurt and I started building friendships with my new cell members. By the summer, my cell was thriving and talking about multiplication and I was feeling more confident that people actually wanted to hang out with me and I had good things to offer. My new found confidence also helped my business and I started getting myself out there and selling more of my work. I felt like a part of something bigger. It was something I couldn’t feel alone in my house. I was a part of this larger community, sharing my life and learning from my friends.
Looking back at the past year, the biggest thing I have learned is that I need community. I love people. I love getting to know people and hearing their stories. I think I finally understand what it means to truly share my life and my experience and how life giving that is. I learned how to see God through my friendships and see God working in the lives of the people around me. Taking the steps to get up and out of my loneliness was the best thing I could have done for myself and I thank God that I was in the midst of these wonderful people who made me feel safe and loved. Thank you, friends.
wow, and I get to be married to her!
I’ve been noticing similar renewal in my own life. Even an introvert, like myself, who is happy to stay home and talk to the cat, receives nourishment and vitality from relationships. God often meets us through our relationships. Like you, I am so grateful for our community, my friends, my cell. I spent awhile in a cocoon, but I am enjoying the exhilaration of emerging. I find it fascinating that you wrote this now, as I was just thinking about these things this week.
jenna, taking the steps to get up and get out of your loneliness can be some of the hardest things to do. i see God working through you every day and it gives me great joy and inspiration.
2007 was a big year for me too. Thanks for sharing.
sounds awesome, jenna. i think a lot of us are frequently reminded of how our community is such a living organism that helps bring us closer to God. i try not to take it for granted.
Last week I was admitting to my cell that rugged individualism sometimes casts a strange and seductive spell on me. Over and over it woos me with a sweet song promising freedom and balance and fullness, even abundance, if only I hunker down in my solitude and hoard my time and energy for myself. It pats me on the back and tells me that I love enough, give enough, do enough in my work and my friendships and that I should be careful to save more for myself.
Repeatedly I fall for this, and every time the promises are empty and I am left lonely and withering.
Feeling like Hosea’s cheating wife, I keep returning to this community and am welcomed and embraced and forgiven. And the sweet love I find here brings me closer to the very fullness I had been craving all along.