I work as a project manager for a CD/DVD manufacturing company. Last week I had 116 clients with open orders. That sounds like a lot and it is. These clients keep me very busy answering the phone, replying to email, communicating with other departments and it requires a lot multi-tasking. My mind is racing all day going from one thing to the next trying to stay on top of the work. I realized after a cell meeting a couple of weeks ago that my mind never stops racing. I leave work, but never allow my brain to slow down and think about things that are happening now. I’m constantly thinking about what’s next. What’s for dinner? What am I doing tonight? Should I watch a movie or read or clean the apartment or play video games? What am I doing tomorrow? This weekend? I’ve trained myself to make quick decisions and move on to the next thing as efficiently as possible.
At the end of that cell meeting we were praying together and saying out loud a word or phrase as a request for ourselves or others. Someone said the word “rest” and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Rod described a similar experience he had in his cell during one of the recent Public Meetings. Rest. I imagined myself alone in a room. No computer, no TV, no work or any distractions. Just me and my thoughts. Resting in the moment. The idea of dwelling in my thoughts and recognizing the moment makes so much sense, why don’t I do that? It’s really unfair to those around me. A lot times people are talking or sharing things with me and instead of listening to what they’re saying I’m preparing my next statement or thinking about the other things I have to do that day. This false sense of urgency causes me to miss things that I might normally take in if I could just slow down. Not only does that make me unaware of what the people around me are going through, but it makes me unaware of myself and of God and of where I am with God. This seems like really basic stuff and the fact that I’m just now getting it frustrates me and makes me want to master it. Quickly. Right now! Then I have to remember to slow down again.
During that same PM Rod mentioned the importance of being aware of who God is in our lives. It’s so easy to overlook this! I’ve been doing it for a long time and have never really figured out how to make that a constant awareness. Combining rest and awareness has finally made this a little clearer for me. I’ve been keeping 2 Corinthians 10:5 in mind. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” I learned this verse in high school for an apologetics class, but I don’t think it only applies to defending the faith. I like the idea of taking a short break after every thought and considering where it came from and how I should react to it before actually doing so. That’s a discipline I want to have. So, far I’ve found that this practice grants me patience, which is of great benefit both at work and at home. I’m really looking forward to the other things I’ll learn about myself and others and how God relates to all of us through more of this rest and awareness.
A woman once told me that God gave us the ability to multi-task so that we could “pray without ceasing” while performing our daily duties. Too often, however, I find that I use the ability to multi-task in order to fill my mind with endless scenerios and outcomes, causing me great anxiety and stress. I spend a lot of time dwelling on the past or trying to predict the future. The same wise woman explained, God is a god of the present who calls Himself “I AM”. That is why there is so much fear and uncertainty in the past and the future. –God does not dwell there. Maybe these concepts are a tad simplistic, but they’ve helped me in my pursuit of rest. Isn’t it funny how when you finally try to slow down and enjoy rest, it seems so darn uncomfortable!?
*good book= The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawerence
Rest was precisely the thing that I took up for Lent, believe it or not. I feel like I am totally restless, all of the time. I observed the sabbath this Lent and really tried to take a load off. That’s truly not the easiest thing for me to do. Even now, I’m reading these blogs just minutes before a job interview. I’ll learn someday; thanks for showing the way.