Monthly Archive for May, 2008

responding to God

Published
by
Joshua
on May 30, 2008
in Action, Community, Dialogue, Family, Peace and Resources
. 2 Comments

‘ve been trying to keep up with my daily dose of Brennan Manning since my friend Kim gave me a copy of The Ragamuffin Gospel:  Good News for the Bedraggled, Burnt Out, and Beat Up.
Today I read an insight of his that casts some light on what I think a lot of us are working through this season:  trying to do enough, or the other side-feeling bad about not trying enough.

“American spirituality still seems to start with self, not with God.  Personal responsibility replaces personal response…The emphasis is always on what I do rather than on what God is doing in my life.  In this macho approach God is reduced to a benign old spectator on the sidelines…We become convinced that we can do a pretty good job of following Jesus if we just, once and for all, make up our minds and really buckle down to do it.”

How freeing it is, indeed, to not put off letting Jesus work until we have it all put together.  I can think of a million reasons why I’m not firing on all cylinders right now-and if I can only___________ than I’ll get right with Jesus.

We can almost instinctively talk about our debt, having small kids, not kicking our bad habits, our living situation, our poor diet, or lack of exercise as if they are God’s major barriers-not just our struggles or limitations.  Let’s own the limitations as ours (not God’s), and let our redemption come from Christ (not us).

Jesus works beyond circumstance.  If you’re having a hard time right now, that’s okay.  We all do, we’re not there yet.  Rather than overly dwelling on limitations we can own them/admit them, let Jesus in, and follow him on to new life.

I think Christ has a lot to say about it beyond our circumstance/need/limitations/sin/brokenness/struggle.  How are you responding to what Jesus is doing  in you?  How are you responding to what Jesus is doing in your cell?  How are we responding to what Jesus is doing in theWhat is Jesus trying to do in you?  What is Jesus doing in your cell?  What is Jesus going to do in the megalopolis?

Urban Teaching Urban Living

Published
by
Raleigh Booze
on May 27, 2008
in Action, Community and Dialogue
. 5 Comments

Teaching in the inner city is an idea that never occurred to me until recently. I was raised in suburban Delaware a few miles outside the city of Wilmington. Last year I became involved with the Circle of Hope community. For those of you who do not know me, I am an Earth Science Education student at the University of Delaware and lead a cell in Newark DE.

As I grew in faith and spirit over the last year, I wanted to dedicate more of my time towards achieving the Kingdom here on Earth. A follower of Jesus isn’t a person who attends church every Sunday. Jesus wasn’t merely a sacrifice, but is a living example of how to live our lives. There are many ways that one can get involved in the community with Circle of Hope. For me there was a barrier, blocking me from getting involved in some of the various projects, teams, and community building opportunities. This barrier is a fifty-mile blockade that extends from Newark to Philadelphia.

In August, a wonderful community of people living on Ellsworth St. about 2 blocks down from BW is letting me move into their home. This is very exciting for me as I will be living near my Circle family. Now where am I going to work?

Everyone around me has tried to convince me not to teach in the inner city. My student teaching supervisors told me that it is not a good idea for my first year. I even convinced myself that I would never teach in an inner-city setting because I believed I would get ripped apart, as I am a fairly timid person. I was planning on living in South Philly and commuting maybe 30-40 minutes or so to Delaware. I could spend a couple of weeknights in Wilmington so that I could rely less on gasoline. Here lies the same problem. I would still be living a double life: one in Delaware, and another in Pennsylvania. This dichotomy would eventually wear me down.

When speaking with other teachers from the Circle community who teach in Philly and Camden, I could not help but envy their passion, desire, and sense of obligation to help inner city students. I am wrapping up my student teaching at an up and coming suburban district in Middletown DE. I love every single one of my students, but over the last 12 weeks I have felt as if this may not be for me.

My mom has told me that I have always rooted for the underdog. I have a passion for helping the students who are behind or struggling. I want to motivate students, not just teach them about the Earth. This is why I have come to the conclusion that I want to teach in Philly or Camden. I think it will be extremely difficult, but this is where God is leading me, and I pray that he will give me the strength to survive in this setting, which I am somewhat unfamiliar with.

Why I be so hype!

Published
by
Jonny Rashid
on May 22, 2008
in Community, Dialogue and Partnerships
. 6 Comments

I recently finished three months of student teaching at Frankford High School. Frankford is a comprehensive public school in Philadelphia and was recently cited as one of the most persistently dangerous schools in Pennsylvania. I went into the experience with this knowledge and tried to make the best of what would prove to be a very difficult situation. Those three months went by quickly, even though some of the school days were painful, exhausting, and seemingly never-ending. Now, allow me to rewind a little bit to share how I got to this position.

I moved to Philadelphia to study journalism, but eventually decided that my skills would be used best in a public high school. So I read the right Jonathan Kozol books and morphed my pedagogy around Alfie Kohn, and I figured I was on the path to changing public education in the U.S. I knew these students were in terrible conditions, and I thought it was my job to give them real opportunities and to get them out of the situation that they were in. I assumed that the students would see me as a liberator. I figured I would be greeted with flowers and tears of joy. Sound familiar? Frustratingly enough, this was precisely my mentality. When the students didn’t respond to my teaching, when they were mindlessly defiant, and when I developed migraine after migraine, I really wondered, “What did I do wrong?” And that was about 14 days into the process.

Having completed my service to Frankford High School, I’m satisfied. That’s not because the PA Department of Education is now reformed, or because the School District of Philadelphia is allocating its resources better, or because the administration at Frankford High School cares about its students more. I’m satisfied because of the short conversations that I had with students that made us laugh. I’m satisfied because for every three hours of teaching, one student may have learned something new. I’m satisfied because I met 113 new people, and I now have 113 interesting relationships. I’m satisfied because over and over again I heard: “Shid, why you drawin’?”, “Why you be so hype?!” Compelling questions, indeed.

But here’s the point: I went into Frankford trying to be a savior, devoting all my energy to changing a very bureaucratic system. It did not do me well to think that it might be changed, simply through 90 days of service. What was rewarding, and what made the days go by were the relationships. While, I’m still passionate about all the big things, I’ve come to realize that the more important stuff happens on a relational level.

Sure, I’m interested in fighting for better jobs and working conditions for the world’s workers. And I certainly don’t want casinos to be built near my house. And I don’t want a racist police force to continue patrolling the streets that I walk. And I’m tired of the prison-industrial complex and wars that make the rich richer. I want to stand for what I believe in, and will continue to do so, but I’m not satisfied waking up every morning exclusively fighting those things. I want to get down to the relational level. I want to love people not just by advocating for their interests, but by listening to them and getting to know them. I want to share myself with people, I want them to see Jesus in me, I want to build connections, and make partners. At the end of the day, I’d rather get a cup of coffee with you than protest against free trade coffee. I never want the former to downplay the latter, but I certainly do not want the latter to jeopardize the former.

The convictions that I have lead me to the comprehensive public schools in Philadelphia. The need there is great, and I’ll do my best to bring hope to those schools. But Jesus, who lives inside of me, would rather see me get to know a student or a colleague, as opposed to simply getting to know the flawed education legislation. I in a very fortunate position because my deepest convictions have found a way to meet one another.

Who are you meeting these days? Why are you getting up in the morning? I’d love to talk about it over a cup of coffee sometime.

“where life is being generated”

Published
by
Zach Wood
on May 19, 2008
in Community and Dialogue
. 3 Comments

by Zach Wood

Last week, my cell leader asked our group, “What has cell meant for you?” Now that’s maybe a vague question, but that’s how we like to do things. It didn’t take me long to come up with an answer to this, since it’s something that I have actually thought quite a bit about. I don’t recall exactly what I responded with, but it sounded a little bit like this:

I grew up in the church, in a family where it was required to be in church on Sundays. I could probably count on one hand the number of times I wasn’t sitting in the 4th pew on the left-hand side of the church (right-hand side from the pastor’s vantage point). When I turned 18, I gained a lot of things… I gained the ability to vote, the ability to buy cigarettes legally and the ability to stop going to church. I enjoyed all three.

I spent a long time in depression, growing bitter and condescending. I was such a good, caring person… trapped in an inner hell. It’s scary when you shun your soul so much that you no longer recognize yourself. After trying to help, my parents and friends began to get used to the cynical, angry person I had become, which only made it easier to continue that trend.

As a form of escape, I spent a 4-month hiatus in South Dakota to live on a Sioux reservation. It would be that turning point that I yearned for. That epic, life-altering experience to re-focus life’s lens. Well, it wasn’t quite that epic, but it was that first step that I needed. I saw purpose and light, and maybe realized some value in myself that I hadn’t seen in many years.

When I returned to Philadelphia, I started fresh, or at least with some peace. I began courting a young lady, and I still remember the confusion I had at why such a cool girl would go to church. I didn’t think young people even went to church anymore. But my mind was open and for the first time in a while, I was enjoying life again. At that time, I sincerely never thought I would ever attend a “church”, but that girl was too good to pass up, so I just rolled with it for a while.

I was asked to a cell, went, and desperately fought the urge to say, “This is so weird!” But my “curiosity” kept pulling me back. I was so intrigued with the fact that these people that I saw every week were really cool people. They struggled with doubt and frustrations and good times and bad times, and they shared it all, week in and week out. It was such a “real” time, and my new-found open-mindedness allowed me to finally soak reality in. I felt joy.

Now I find myself choosing to be at Circle almost every week, I find myself leading teams and hosting a cell. I find myself relating to people, opening up to people, sharing my struggles and helping my community work through theirs. I learned to live again.

We’re off to see…

Published
by
Rod White
on May 12, 2008
in Community, Dialogue and Uncategorized
. 1 Comment

I’m having the embarrassing realization again that I can often connect meaningful times in my life with some scene from the Wizard of Oz. My sister and I watched that movie every year of our childhood and basically memorized it, chapter and verse, like it was the “Letter of Dorothy Gale to the White Children.” It happened again as I was sitting with my able summer understudies, Nate, Tracey and Ben, a few nights ago teaching them a few arcane details that make up some of my work as pastor.

You may not have seen the movie, but there is a scene in which the Wizard is making a speech before he takes off in his balloon with Dorothy for Kansas. He encourages the people of the Emerald City that he is sure they will be well cared for by the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion, by virtue of their great gifts. Dorothy gets out to retrieve Toto, the balloon’s handlers lose control and the Wizard begins to take off. Dorothy screams “Come back!” But the Wizard says, “I can’t come back. I don’t know how it works! Goodbye folks!”

Here I go on my pilgrimage. I don’t know how it works. Goodbye folks!

I’m not really scared too much. After all, my balloon basically dropped in Philly just a few years ago, and that had a very pleasant result. So I like the idea of taking off and seeing what God has in mind. In truth, on pilgrimage is the luxurious way we Christians get to live all the time — and the ultimate destination is guaranteed to be nice. A deliberate pilgrimage is a disciplined way to take hold of that nice and trust it.

So I am regarding the four months you have granted me for sabbatical as a long pilgrimage. I’ll be on a trip. We may run into each other, maybe even in Glasgow, more likely on Kelly Drive (I’ll be the one looking like I am out for a walk even though I think I am jogging). In the middle of the time, Gwen and I will be on an actual pilgrimage to commune with the missionary monks of the 3-700’s in Ireland, Scotland, England and one day in Wales. I’m not sure what is going to happen. I hope to wake up every day eager to see where God is in the midst of where I have arrived now. I will have the great luxury of time and solitude to find out. I am very grateful.

Please take care of the Emerald City while I am gone, or, if you prefer, Kansas. Wherever we go, our Heart’s Desire is in our own back yard.

(If you have ten minutes, I found another person who has traveled with Dorothy through the last few years and wondered about how anyone in Iraq is going to get home.)

confidence, love, and trust

Published
by
Sarah Munroe
on May 9, 2008
in Community and Dialogue
. 4 Comments

There is a teenager on the swings.
He’s, oh, probably in the 14-16 age range. He’s surrounded by his peers, and he is doing flips and jumps off a swing. Seriously. Back flips off a swing.
I wonder: does he get scared/nervous before each flip? I mean, he could land on his head and that would be it. Or does he just have that much confidence that he knows making it won’t be a problem?

Oh, for that kind of confidence.

    Confidence in my faith: the consistent belief and trust that has eluded me ever since I began making my faith my own.

    Confidence in my community: that I do belong here, I do fit in somehow—even when I feel overwhelmed and out of place amidst a room full of people whom I mostly know to some degree. Belief that this is where I want to put in and have roots. Trust that this is home.

    Confidence in my relationships: belief that I have something to offer, that I can accept what others offer. Trust that I can love and that I am loved.

It seems that it always comes back to love and trust:

    Trying to trust that I am loved.

    Trying to trust that I have love to give.

    Trying to trust that my love will be received by others.

Maybe this is easy for you. Maybe it’s hard.
For me, the truth is, sometimes I don’t feel like I have any love to give. Sometimes I feel drained. That I have nothing more, that I am overwhelmed; my love has drowned. It feels that dramatic sometimes.
The truth is, sometimes my love is not received by others. Sometimes maybe there is miscommunication and my broken attempts at love don’t come across as love. Sometimes the ones I am trying to love are just as broken as I am and they can’t figure out how to receive love either. Sometimes I don’t want to be loved because sometimes it feels like such a hard thing to accept.
I sure don’t do it well.
I sure have a hard time trusting it, whether it’s from my friends, my community, my Creator.

Here is what I am trying to work with: Death and Resurrection and Living in the Spirit.

I am trying this week, this day, this hour, this minute, to live in the Spirit, to live out of this resurrectedness that Jesus invites us to. Years of lies and doubts and death—it is finally time to live resurrectedly. To let myself be loved by my Creator. To let myself be loved by my community. To let myself be loved by my friends. To let myself love me. To acknowledge that yes, I am broken and bent and messed up and insecure, but I am lovable. I am loved. And you are lovable too. And you are loved. When I can be in the Spirit, resting and living out of being loved, I am able to love you, my neighbor, my friend, my community, my Creator more fully and honestly and openly.
There is a confidence in knowing that you are loved.
I see it in people around me:

    In my old friend and my roommate who are engaged, confidently walking through the park, holding hands, knowing that they are loved.

    In the women in this community leading and sharing with such great wisdom and vulnerability.

    Between the husband and wife on the el, sitting with their dozing children on their laps, gazing at each other across the aisle with a smile.

    In friendships where the things that hurt us and the things that elate us are shared without fear.

    In broken tears sometimes.

    In faces of peaceful hope sometimes.

    In the hard conversations and learning to trust.

—
The kid on the swing is still doing flips.
He is pumping hard to reach full height—OOUP! He slipped off! Just slipped right out of the swing at the top, when his legs were straight out and his torso was flat back. And that’s how he fell: flat parallel to the ground and straight down on his back from seven feet up.
How painful. How embarrassing.
He is laying there. Is he alright? There are adults watching; they would do something if he wasn’t alright.
His peers are laughing: the confident showman flat on his back.
They are helping him up. They let go….He staggers….He collapses!
There is laughter.
He tricked them.

There is redemption.

Why Plant Circle of Hope in Camden?

Published
by
Nate Hulfish
on May 6, 2008
in Action, Community, Dialogue and Planning
. 7 Comments

It is the poorest city in America. In 2007, it was the 5th most dangerous city in the country (it was the most dangerous in 2004 and 2005). It is home to less than 80,000 people. It has 3 college campuses downtown and a bevy of developing local attractions. It is ethnically and culturally diverse. It is growing. It has unimaginable needs. It has untapped resources. It is passed by and passed through on a regular basis by people with no consciousness of the needs or the potential. It is made up of and surrounded by an ever growing population of people who simply need hope. Some of them have already entered our circle. They are in our cells, they frequent our public meetings. You probably know them.

One of our friends called it, “just like Philly without any of the good stuff.”

We are the good stuff, Circle of Hope. We have good stuff to offer. Let’s bring the good stuff. Because people need Jesus. Our God is saving the world and there are thousands of people who might partner with him to embrace hope and bring hope if they were just asked the simple question…“do you want to help God save the world with Jesus?”

We are a circle of hope in Jesus Christ called to be a safe place to explore and express God’s love. We build the church for the next generation by the power of the Holy Spirit, multiplying cells that are authentic expressions of life in Christ, forming congregations as diverse as the kingdom of God, and constructing a reconciling network to bring hope to the challenges of 21st century urban life.

Wow!

That’s who we are and what we do. Are you ready to be who we are and do what we do in Camden? It’s a good mission to have. Camden is a good place to have that mission.

Perhaps you’ll pray with us…perhaps you’ll plant with us…we’re doing it together. I can’t wait to see where God takes us!

There’s no substitute for being in love

Published
by
Joshua
on May 2, 2008
in Action, Community, Dialogue and Family
. 2 Comments

I’m grateful for my cell. They are people full of opinions and questions, they listen and they share as we live trying to be together, following Jesus on mission.

Yesterday was the National Day of Prayer, and something subtle-seeming set me off. The theme for the day was “Prayer! America’s strength and shield”. It sounds vaguely Christian, right? You might even think that it’s basically what the King David wrote in Psalm 28 (the theme verse) “The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.”

Big difference between the theme and the theme verse, I noticed. The LORD was substituted with the word prayer.

This got me thinking, what else do we substitute for God? Could it be that we even use good things that we do to try to fill parking spaces reserved for God?

It’s easy for us to trade justification for being in love (with Christ). We’ll use all kinds of other things: substances, affirmation from people, success at our job, comfort, sense of safety…we also will substitute a sense of justification where we feel good enough about ourselves (or bad enough) to not need to be in love.

When we are in love with Jesus, we are justified, life is full of color, and the closeness we have is so sweet that there is no substitute. My hope is that we would live as lovers of Jesus who would be excited to develop that closeness and celebrate the transformation that comes with it in us and in the world.