My wife is beautifully pregnant. For the past 29 weeks I’ve been reading books, talking with wise friends, attending birth classes, and talking with my wife. Through all of the discussion and reading, one thing has risen to the top of the list; I need to be tender with my wife. I need to create for her a sense of safety, encourage her, make sure her voice is being heard, and love her. If you find yourself with a pregnant lady and don’t have the time to read all the books, I just outlined most of them for you.
The first time reading that I need to be tender I thought to myself, “Well, sure, I do that already.” However I kept reading it in the books, then friends said it to me, and the very educated birth lesson lady told me the same thing. Apparently I needed to hear it. I have decided that we all need to hear it: be tender to each other. If you are walking with someone who is carrying another life inside her its pretty easy: be tender. But even if it’s your housemate, guy that sits next to you at work, burly bald man at public meetings, new person in your cell group: be tender. They need it. So do you.
Being overly conscious of my pregnant partner’s changes has helped me learn about her needs, it’s also opened a window to other people’s needs. I’m not as tender as I like to think, but I am talking steps to improve. It takes practice and intentionality. Once more: be tender.
That is really nice, Steve! Thanks. Coincidentally, the song stuck in my head this evening as I was cleaning the hot tub cover so Josiah could splash in splendor was: “She may be weary, Women do get weary, Wearing the same shabby dress, And when she’s weary, Try a little tenderness”
Beautiful, Steve. Thank you.
It’s nice for me to hear that Steve. As skinny as I am, sometimes I’m pretty harsh. Tenderness is really important. Maybe I become tender like meat and I need someone to beat me up a bit. You want dibs?