Monthly Archive for October, 2008

Tending New Life

I’ve been advised in the past to tend to the new life God is growing in me. To learn how to do this I’ve paid attention to instances of “tending.” The last nine months, though, my pregnancy gave me the opportunity to learn about the “new life” part. What I’ve learned has astounded me. New life, apparently, is grown and birthed by God and not by me. This sounds obvious, but it’s shocking to find it is true with something so intimate as my own pregnancy. Here I’d thought “tending” was about “doing” – digging holes, planting seeds, watering, pulling weeds . . . but with pregnancy and birth “tending” becomes markedly different: it is about waiting and then about following.

First the waiting part: Any woman who has suspected pregnancy knows about the waiting – waiting to find out if the new life has even begun. Then we wait for other evidence – a heartbeat, a “baby bump.” All this waiting culminates in the end wait: waiting for birth. I thought this baby would come sooner than he did. I was really expecting him. I was really frustrated. While I was obsessed with this “waiting” theme my cell was reading I John and I become interested in John’s idea of “abiding” in Christ. Doing some rudimentary research I stumbled upon the connection that “abiding” means something akin to “tarrying” – waiting in Christ. Waiting for Christ. Waiting in Christ for new life.

Next the following part: A woman in labor does not get to control the labor. We have to follow it. Those infamous contractions we experience are completely out of our control. Our body has a job: to open up the cervix so that the baby can descend. That opening is done by my womb but I myself don’t get to control the opening. My job is to stay loose, to stay relaxed, to follow the contractions to their end. Even when it was time for me to push (thank goodness – finally some control over the process!) I was still told to follow. The midwife gave me very, very specific instructions (chin down, tiny push, breathe through this contraction, etc.) and my job was to follow. This was my body, my baby, my “new life” experience but the work given to me was to slow down, to listen, and to follow.

So those are my two thoughts: wait and follow. You’ve probably thought them yourself before but since they’re particularly visceral for me this week, I wanted to share. I’m also including a picture of Brendan just because the waiting and the following (not to mention the pain) were totally worth it – he is wonderful.

Love makes a thing beautiful.

Lina broke her leg, stopped eating, and died. Dr. Phil was carried off by a hawk. Finally Geena and Chizuko became midnight victims of a hungry oppossum. So much for our first flock of chickens.

We were really hearbroken. Chizuko’s untimely disappearance all but ruined summer vacation for Kate, my wife. She was pretty reluctant when I told her I placed an order with the hatchery for new chicks. Still, we learned from our mistakes and built a proper house to protect them. The second flock are thriving.

Hens might seem a strange pet, but they are beautiful. And you get eggs. Letting them out of their coop and watching them scratch and peck through the garden has been the best part of the day for me lately. It is a like a meditation. Everyday we say to our girls: “My, how big you are now! Only 8 weeks ago you came in the mail!” They were just tiny balls of fluff. And while we look forward to the eggs they will lay as big fat hens this spring, they are just perfect right now, even in their awkward adolescence. Loving a thing makes it beautiful.

Our new PM at Tuckahoe and Yorkship feels different than Broad and Washington. It’s not a big full room; it’s not loud. When you sing “Let all things their Creator bless!” mostly you hear your own voice. It’s awkward. After last week’s meeting one of us said “I was honestly scared by how few people were there” and I appreciated his frankness. It’s easy for us to feel like somehow we don’t measure up.

It’s true we’re small and vulnerable and there’s a lot about us that’s not there yet. But right now I think we’re beautiful. I see our Father adoring us in our smallness, diligently seeking out and noting each little increment of our growth, and joyfully awaiting the fruit we will produce as we mature. Being immature means being restless, excitable, incomplete, and mainly preoccupied with just surviving. Before long new people will come in, we will outgrow our meeting space, and we’ll get busier with more business, more acts of love. Then our smallness will be something we remember as we smile and say, “Remember how few people there were!” Let’s be at home with smallness while we’re still small.

Large and Small

I was sitting around the big table with the CoHOp Core Team last night. Maybe you don’t know that Jason’s dad donated a bunch of his old office furniture and we now have a big wooden table (like a board room scene from Bruce Ward’s skyscraper!) in the “mezzanine“ level of Broad and Washington. Only our “power center” has 7-foot ceilings and a sprinkler pipe at 6 foot three running through it.

Liz had put up the poster of the 5-year imaginations that people had graffitied during the Discerning Retreat on one wall of the room. Dan looked at it at one point and said something like, “We apparently don’t think of ourselves as a small, marginalized church fighting the man anymore.” There are so many big ideas on the paper it threatens to topple the wall! People have big ideas for what they apparently now think is our big network. A congregation budding in Camden seems to have put them over the edge into a new way of seeing Circle of Hope.

Well, honestly, let’s not bust any buttons being real big, yet. We’re not that big. We may be more capable than we ever imagined we would be, but the average car dealership has a yearly income greater than our whole network’s. So let’s be as excited about ourselves as we should be. Romans 12 says: “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. …In Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.” We are no more and no less than God has made us. We have our gifts to bring to the cause according to the grace received. We’re big, but no bigger than we are given to be.

I keep trying to tell people that they don’t need to be dismayed about getting larger as a network. We will always be small, too. We committed ourselves to a vision for how to be the church from the beginning — we always expected to be a network of congregations that each grew to about 200 people and then multiplied. We have always wanted to live face-to-face. We’ll probably keep finding inventive ways to keep that going.

Right now we are on the edge of figuring out how to be both a network of some size: three congregations that are face to face, and a network of cells and mission teams that share an organic life together. I hope you are up for the challenge, because it is pretty weird. A lot of us don’t have a feel for it, yet — even many people among the many, many people who lead our community in Christ.

The fact that we don’t get how we work sometimes surprises me. I think what we are doing is just common, biblical sense. It seems like what the first believers did in Acts. The Celtic church organized in a similar way. John Wesley basically lead the first Methodists to do what we do. All sorts of people movements all over the world look a lot like us (only better organized!). What is the big deal?  From what I understand, people have some fears born of where they used to live. For one thing, they don’t want to be some mega-whatever. I kind of missed the mega-church thing, but a lot of us didn’t. So we equate that big, American dinosaur with being irrelevant and anonymous in the body — the pastor on a jumbotron, some ideology taking over, professionals doing everything and finding warm bodies to fuel their programs. No one wants to be big like that. Similarly, but from the opposite direction, a lot of us have come from nowhere, wandering around alone or in a little pod of leftovers from the youth group and we are glad to get in a cell where we can be authentic. We don’t want to lose that.

For the most part, most of us didn’t care much about church structure before Circle of Hope got to be who we are and we still don’t care — so we are content to be whatever part we end up being as God leads us along. That’s what I’m glad we are doing — letting God lead us along.

We are listening to God and staying creative. We want to extend the Kingdom – that may force us to organize for larger. We want to live in the Kingdom – that will definitely force us to stay small. This year our big goals have powered us into being a more effective network. Since we accomplished our goals – planted the beginnings of another congregation, hired Liz to invent good administration, hired Jeremiah to give gravity to generating compassion, made some network offices, even – we’ve got a new look that people are noticing.

I’m not sure what all that new energy will come to. But one thing I’m happy about is this: finding ways to handle the opportunities of being larger has freed the pastors and Cell Leader Coordinators to spend better attention on being small – caring for our cells and the congregations they form. Our 46 brave Cell Leaders are leading the charge for transformation where it will always happen best: person to person in living room or coffee shop, (or maybe even huddled in the mezzanine on Broad St.), with Jesus in the midst.

Welcome to Circle of Hope Camden

When we walked into our new worship space in the basement of Bridge of Peace Community Church in Camden, we were greeted by a rather large and quite dead mouse right in the middle of the floor. It was apparently headed somewhere, and it didn’t quite make it.

Now I have a completely rational and incredible fear of mice (for real, so don’t mess). It doesn’t matter to me if they are living or dead…I get quite panicky inside (looking at this picture even makes me anxious). But, as no one else seemed willing to take care of it, I did what was necessary and cleaned up the mess. I choked down my fear and removed our deceased friend…the space instantly felt more welcoming. (By the way, CJ Reynolds suggested, tongue in cheek, that we leave the mouse there and attempt to raise it from the dead as a part of our worship time…ta-da!)

I’ve been working with a lot of what was wrapped up in the imagery of that mouse. Ideas of heading from one place (like congregations in Philadelphia) to another (like Camden). Ideas of maybe not quite making it (do we really have what it takes?) and dying on the floor (will we grow from the 40 people that were there last night to the 140+ we hope to be?). Ideas about overcoming fear, about doing what needs to be done, about messiness, and about being welcoming. There’s a lot to think about.

What’s really great is that we all exist in a place of grace where we have time to work through the questions that plague us. We have a loving God who fills us with joy and peace and gives us hope.

Paul writes in Romans 15:13, Oh! May the God of great hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope!

Last night’s Camden (Tuckahoe and Yorkship) “soft-launch” was great. We had so much fun…there was so much love present. Above all, we were filled with joy and peace and we are brimming with hope for what’s next.

There are three more “soft” public meetings until our official launch on November 2nd. I’m hoping that I don’t have to clean up a mouse every week…more than that, I’m hoping Circle of Hope in Camden makes it where we’re headed as we follow the resurrected Jesus into what’s next.

Tuckahoe & Yorkship!

The most astonishing things that I have ever seen are hands down watching my daughters being born.  Rarely am I speechless, and both times I had a system-overload of joy.  I had the privilege of being beside Martha for her labor, and was so proud of her that my face was about to shatter because I was smiling so hard.  Just the other day I was talking to Helena (who is now 7) about what it felt like to hold her for the first time (and that I was the first person to ever tell her “I love you”, etc).  A lot of friends are experiencing childbirth this season-just a couple weeks ago Nakai Rivera was born to Julius & Melissa, and a couple are on the way at any moment (Jon & Holly-in labor right now, Adam & Tara, Aubrey & Jacob, Kate & Adam, Katy & Zach).  What a wonderful season of birth!

When a cell multiplies I’m have a similar sense of those feelings-the gratitude, the joy.  God works similarly, and I try to drink it in.  This week our network is experiencing something a bit larger than one cell multiplying-a new congregation is being born.  The “soft launch” of a new Public Meeting at Tuckahoe & Yorkship in Camden is this Sunday at 6pm.  I am grateful today for Nate & Jen Hulfish and the rest of the formation team as well as the dozens of people who are coming along side our wonderful Birthing God to help this new congregation into the world!  The grand opening will be on November 2nd, and it calls for a celebration.

Here’s a South American alpaca dam giving birth to her new cria!

Next weekend (Oct 10-12), we’ll be celebrating that birth at the Discerning Retreat as well as other major happenings (or births) this year.  We finally unleashed the Director of Operations (hooray Liz!), our first fulltime Circle Venture (hooray Jeremiah!), Rod’s 4mo sabbatical 12yrs in the making, the purchase and 5week long rehab of 2233 Frankford Ave for Circle Thrift (hooray volunteers!), and we’re in the midst of renovating 2007-09 to expand the home of the Frankford & Norris congregation.

We’ll also have time to take advantage of the once-in-a-lifetime grant from the Lilly Endowment to subsidize part of the cost.  We’ll take what the cells have been inputting-answers to those basic questions we do every year “where is God calling us to go, who is God calling us to be?”-and discerning further refinement.  We’ll experience in a special way how God is taking little bits from many places and turning them into something that can be known.  We’ll be away together to listen, to worship, to discern, to share, and to be one.  There are just a few spots left-you don’t want to miss!

Sometimes I’m not sure if we come alongside God or God comes alongside us when this new life arrives.  I am grateful that so many of us are in that mix!