I have been feeling, recently, a certain uncertainty with life, my job, with Philadelphia. Not good or bad, just uncertain.
My relationship with Philly has changed significantly since we met in the summer of 2006. I initially came to go to grad school. It was a means to an end, before i was to live happily-ever-after, traipsing around the world. I finished grad school, but my vision of happily-ever-after changed. I wasn’t sure where to go, or what to do, or even what my purpose was anymore. Philly was there then, saying, i’m here, i’ll love and support you, stay with me. So i did, and Philly came through, with friends, community, love, coffee, a new bike, and a job that spoke to my gifts.
During this time my friendship with Philly grew. I came to know and appreciate more of its quirks, nuances, and idiosyncrasies. We developed an honest kind of friendship, that reveals each other’s strengths and weaknesses; I told Philly it was stinky and dirty; Philly told me i was self-centered and had a lot to learn about loving people who i viewed as “flawed”. I have greatly appreciated the growth i have experienced through my relationship with Philly.
Now that Philly and i have become much better friends, it has become apparent that we need to make our intentions clear. It is time for a DTR (define the relationship) with Philly.
It occurs to me that previously, i may have fallen into the category of “casual dater” with the other cities and towns i’ve lived in. I must be growing up, because i think it’s time to be intentional about being in this relationship with Philly.
I no longer need to be here for grad school.
I no longer need the supportive crutch to rebuild my direction (tho it certainly can’t hurt).
So it is time for me to decide why I am staying here. Where is this relationship going? Like any DTR, I don’t need all the answers right away I suppose, but it is time to redefine our relationship, in some way. The answers to these questions don’t need to mean it is time for me to move on, or that I should dig in for the long haul tomorrow– my analogies always breakdown eventually. The bottom line is that it is time to look at what we have here, and re-frame it. And so, over the next few days, weeks, and months, I look forward to working on this with all of you, who are represented in my personification of Philly.