I recently finished three months of student teaching at Frankford High School. Frankford is a comprehensive public school in Philadelphia and was recently cited as one of the most persistently dangerous schools in Pennsylvania. I went into the experience with this knowledge and tried to make the best of what would prove to be a very difficult situation. Those three months went by quickly, even though some of the school days were painful, exhausting, and seemingly never-ending. Now, allow me to rewind a little bit to share how I got to this position.
I moved to Philadelphia to study journalism, but eventually decided that my skills would be used best in a public high school. So I read the right Jonathan Kozol books and morphed my pedagogy around Alfie Kohn, and I figured I was on the path to changing public education in the U.S. I knew these students were in terrible conditions, and I thought it was my job to give them real opportunities and to get them out of the situation that they were in. I assumed that the students would see me as a liberator. I figured I would be greeted with flowers and tears of joy. Sound familiar? Frustratingly enough, this was precisely my mentality. When the students didn’t respond to my teaching, when they were mindlessly defiant, and when I developed migraine after migraine, I really wondered, “What did I do wrong?” And that was about 14 days into the process.
Having completed my service to Frankford High School, I’m satisfied. That’s not because the PA Department of Education is now reformed, or because the School District of Philadelphia is allocating its resources better, or because the administration at Frankford High School cares about its students more. I’m satisfied because of the short conversations that I had with students that made us laugh. I’m satisfied because for every three hours of teaching, one student may have learned something new. I’m satisfied because I met 113 new people, and I now have 113 interesting relationships. I’m satisfied because over and over again I heard: “Shid, why you drawin’?”, “Why you be so hype?!” Compelling questions, indeed.
But here’s the point: I went into Frankford trying to be a savior, devoting all my energy to changing a very bureaucratic system. It did not do me well to think that it might be changed, simply through 90 days of service. What was rewarding, and what made the days go by were the relationships. While, I’m still passionate about all the big things, I’ve come to realize that the more important stuff happens on a relational level.
Sure, I’m interested in fighting for better jobs and working conditions for the world’s workers. And I certainly don’t want casinos to be built near my house. And I don’t want a racist police force to continue patrolling the streets that I walk. And I’m tired of the prison-industrial complex and wars that make the rich richer. I want to stand for what I believe in, and will continue to do so, but I’m not satisfied waking up every morning exclusively fighting those things. I want to get down to the relational level. I want to love people not just by advocating for their interests, but by listening to them and getting to know them. I want to share myself with people, I want them to see Jesus in me, I want to build connections, and make partners. At the end of the day, I’d rather get a cup of coffee with you than protest against free trade coffee. I never want the former to downplay the latter, but I certainly do not want the latter to jeopardize the former.
The convictions that I have lead me to the comprehensive public schools in Philadelphia. The need there is great, and I’ll do my best to bring hope to those schools. But Jesus, who lives inside of me, would rather see me get to know a student or a colleague, as opposed to simply getting to know the flawed education legislation. I in a very fortunate position because my deepest convictions have found a way to meet one another.
Who are you meeting these days? Why are you getting up in the morning? I’d love to talk about it over a cup of coffee sometime.