I’ve been thinking a lot about having conversations about Jesus with people who don’t know much about Him. Over the years I’ve struggled with having a conversation with people about anything. I’ve grown in this area and now I can start a conversation or keep up my end of the conversation. Most times I enjoy myself, which is surprising to me. I still get a little nervous when meeting someone new. Occasionally I want to take a nap after being with a new friend or friends for a couple hours, because I feel emotionally drained. I think what tires me out mostly is all my internal work, not the conversation itself.
Sometimes when reflecting on a conversation with a friend I’m left with a longing for something deeper than chatting about our kids, or what’s new in the neighborhood. I’m realizing I want to show up more in the conversations. I don’t just want to participate I want to bring more of me into the conversation.
So, how do I do this? First I think I need to enter the conversation knowing that I am a child of God and I am connected to Jesus. I need to know I am loved. Jesus says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a woman remains in me and I in her, she will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing (John 15:5).” I also need to really love the person I’m talking to. I want to get beyond my insecurities so that I can get to know a person instead of just surviving the conversation. I want to really know God and the stories of my faith. Jesus helped lots of people know themselves more and go deeper with him through stories. When people want to know more about me I want to really tell them rather than sticking with the safety of the weather. “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, (1 Peter 3:15). I also know that Jesus and Paul talk about words being given to us when we need them. I want to trust that if I get to a place in a conversation where I have nothing to say, where I’m left speechless (this is a big fear of mine), that the Spirit will give me words to say. As I write this I wonder if it might be okay to be speechless every once in a while too.