Archive for the 'Community' CategoryPage 2 of 12

the new kid and considering the other

Published
by
Joshua Grace
on September 3, 2008
in Community, Dialogue, Family and Planning
. 2 Comments

I forget what it’s like to be the new kid.  I live in a neighborhood where I am pretty familiar, in a community where I practically grew up (got connected to Circle of Hope 11yrs ago this month!), I have a family, I have an office, and have a general sense of living in my own skin.

Today I began taking two classes at Temple, and I have a new yet strangely familiar sense of being the new kid.  Other students are rushing around anonymously.  Most people in my class seem to understand how to go and buy the book we need or ready a syllabus or the etiquette for finding a seat in class.  I don’t, really.  I forgot.  It’s been 10yrs since I was in college, and everything seems a little different. One of my profs (yeah, I call them “profs” now) said something to the class this morning about “eh, you all are upper classmen and know how this stuff works…”.  Not really.

I’m grateful for how much effort we as a church put into considering the “other”.  At the Public Meetings we try to speak in ways that the next person coming off the street can understand and connect with.  We acknowledge that people even at this meeting might be from a different background than us-class, ethnicity, age, and even faith journey.  The “empty chair” at our cell meetings that we keep is to make room for the next person.  We worship in styles and languages not necessarily familliar to all of us…it keeps us considering the other.   We want all to be welcome without implying “you’re welcome if your just like me.”

Thanks for thinking about the other and considering those who may feel like the new kid around Circle of Hope right now.

Parenting As A Village

Published
by
Rod White
on August 20, 2008
in Community, Dialogue and Family
. 0 Comments

This isn’t a word to parents, only. But that is where it focuses.

For parents the word is: Parenting should not be done alone.
For all of us it is: life (and life in Christ, in particular) is hard and we need each other.

Bible teaching about this:
John in 1 John: “We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers and sisters. Anyone who does not love remains in death…. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in them? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” (2:14,16-19, edited for inclusion)

Interpretation for the subject at hand:
1. Loving our new family in Christ is a sign that we are alive in Christ. There is no life outside the new community centered on Jesus. The central command to each member of this new family is to love each other in the same manner Jesus loved you.
2. John says we should apply this truth by sharing material needs. I am saying that we should apply it by sharing in the parenting of children and, what’s more, by sharing in the ongoing development we all are undergoing that was (of course) not completed by our birth parents.
3. John is talking about sharing something one has with one who needs it. Some of us are obviously gifted to attend to children and those people have built some vibrant community among Circle of Hope parents. Some of us may have less of that. But I would say the vast majority of us have enough maturity in Christ to have some basic human parental instincts activated, whether we are 18 or 48. We should care for young people as a village and we should care for the needy child in each other, too.

Marilyn Heins (common sense parenting author) says: “We need to change some of our attitudes. Right now most of us feel that it is wrong to interfere when we see bad parenting because we revere individuality and respect the rights of the family. But we have to find ways to help each other. Helping neighbors used to be the American way. We need to invent the equivalent of a barn-raising when a neighboring family is in trouble.”

I think a lot of us have the aversion Dr. Heins is talking about. We don’t go far enough to really help each other parent because we are protecting the parent’s rights and relying on their personal responsibility. For instance, when a child seems out of control to us at the PM, we are very hesitant to help the parent do their work. When a safari jeep drives up to a herd of elephants, the mother elephants circle their young. We could at least do that. Instead, we defer to the parent (even if they are out of ear shot).

An overwhelmed single parent might show up with rambunctious kids in tow, looking for something. We’d likely to be very nice to them and even empathetic. But when it came to helping them with their six year old bouncing off the walls, we’d be very cautious, like we’d be accused of child abuse if we had a relationship with the child. By the time we got over our fear, the kid would have grown up and grown up outside a Christian village. And as a result, they would have been taught individualism by the adults who protected that concept at the cost of love.

I’m throwing out more points than I am fully exploring, I know. But I hope they cause us to take a look at just how often we are willing to leave each other by the side of the road, needy and even hurting because we don’t think we have the right to be involved. Some of us are pushy, but most of us are just afraid of possibly being considered pushy. Some of us violate boundaries too much, but most of us are lounging behind boundaries to love, feeling like what is happening to our brothers and sisters is none of our business.

I think John tells us that loving our brothers and sisters, and their children IS our business. If we don’t lay down our lives for each other, we are not even alive. Parents and children living in the megalopolis need each other and they need the whole community to care about what they are doing. They have the main role to raise their children, they get to do it the way they do it, but they can’t and shouldn’t do it alone.

the church is not a building, or several buildings

Published
by
Joshua Grace
on August 10, 2008
in Action, Circle Venture, Community, Creative Arts, Dialogue, Friends Projects, Partnerships and Planning
. 2 Comments

It’s funny sometimes to me when a church known for our paradigm adjustments talks a lot about buildings-and rehabs a lot of buildings.  By paradigm, I mean we understand that the church is people and we are the church.  Our buildings are practical, and they are used for much beyond just our Public Meetings or offices.   Over the past few years, we’ve done major rehabs for 3 meeting sites, Circle Counseling, Shalom House, a basement for CT on Broad, and the mezzanine for offices and kids.  Whew.  As much as that is, we have several more on the near horizon.

 

(photo of 2233 Frankford, future home of Circle Thrift by Carina Romano)

This season is filled with many opportunities for us to rehab some buildings.  We even happen to own two of them.  There is a lot of opportunity to serve, to hang together, share money, and to build in some more capacity for God to work in our neighborhoods.  Still, the church is not a building-or even several buildings.  Like we talked about at our recent Love Feast, we are part of that dwelling that God has been building for 1,000’s of years with all kinds of peoples with Jesus as the cornerstone.

So go ahead and keep being built into the place where God lives, where God can be seen and known.  It also seems good to keep practicing resurrection in our neighborhoods by making good use out of castaway structures. 

Over the next couple weeks, we’ll be focusing on 2233 Frankford Ave-Circle Thrift’s new home less than 2 blocks from her current spot.  Hopefully, on Labor Day we’ll have our human chain to move the CT inventory up a block.  Then we’ll be getting the new setup of 2007 Frankford for the next rendition including meeting/venue space on the first floor, expanding childcare capacity, a music/arts school run by psalters, and some sort of retail storefront.  We may even need to get a spot ready for our next congregation to launch in October/November in Camden!  We need a lot of prayer, a lot of togetherness, a lot of help, a lot of money, and a lot of love. 

So even as we are the church-God’s presence in the world in people-we can make some practical steps so God’s love can be felt and known by not only having more surface area…but how we renovate.   Go get ‘em! 

 

Amish Grace and the Eastern Shore of Maryland

Published
by
Mimi Copp
on July 25, 2008
in Community and Dialogue
. 2 Comments

I’ve been a bear the last few weeks. I’ve felt argumentative and confrontational in a bad way. I’ve felt agitated. I’ve wanted to prove I’m right. I’ve been aloof and cold, not able to sympathize, be compassionate or show concern.

I know that a lot of the time, I’m not like this. My problem right now is that I’ve been going it alone. I’ve drifted from God and so I act and react in foolish ways. And all of this as I get up each morning to pray and talk with God. This daily act, which I want to be a spiritual discipline, has become a rather stale habit.

I’ve needed a re-alignment, a shift, a purging.

As part of the spiritual rhythms built into the life of Shalom House, I went on retreat a couple days ago. I spent 36 hours retreating on the eastern shore of Maryland. Walking the beach and sitting in the sand dunes, I actually felt like I purged all these bad, anxious, frustrated, agitated emotions. I feel like God has put me back together.

A few days back I opened the book Amish Grace and ever since my mind’s been reeling. The book is about the response, which was heavy on forgiveness & light on revenge, of an Amish community in Pennsylvania when a man entered their children’s school and killed 5 of them, injuring 5 more and then killing himself. Many things are striking me, but one thing in particular that I’ve grabbed onto is the righting of relationships. Amish communities build into their corporate & individual lives an expectation and a way to set things right with one another. If this can’t be done, then the Church doesn’t participate in communion.

Having acted in ways I’m not proud, I need to right some relationships and let go of some grudges. In the spirit of these Amish sisters and brothers, I’m giving it a try and feeling much less like a bear.

For Lack of Better Words

Published
by
Siobhan Harper
on July 21, 2008
in Action, Community and Dialogue
. 7 Comments

I’m a Christian and a feminist. Unfortunately, either of these words can be laughable to some, especially when associated with each other. I myself am learning how to feel about them at times and having a hard time figuring out how the two can be interconnected

I spent years of my life thinking feminists were damaged, confused women. Let it be known that I was uninformed, or that I believed exactly what much of the world wanted me to believe as a young, impressionable girl. It wasn’t until the past few years that I came to terms with the fact that much of my young adult life was spent as a victim and that I had a lot of anger and resentment in me because of it - towards women. Because I thought we were responsible, I was responsible, for getting hurt.

It was through some very helpful counseling and our women’s retreat that I came to terms with where my issues lay and simultaneously what I was passionate about. Daily life as a woman in America is bad enough with women being objectified in ways that have begun to seem natural; getting hollered at on the street, celebrities who are constantly physically critiqued, women still getting paid a lower working wage than men. My sense of outrage is the most rampant when I read stories about injustices towards women. Like the fact I just came across on the Amnesty International website that in the Russian Federation, one woman an hour dies at the hands of a relative, partner, or former partner. The idea that women throughout the world are treated as lesser people is something I cannot wrap my head around. What would Christ think?

This is where I need some help. I believe that Jesus loves us all equally and that means every gender, gender preference, nationality, age and ailment. But how are we called to empower the disempowered? How can we, out of love, help the “lesser of these” to be treated fairly? To be thought of fairly? How can we as a community be a catalyst for change without embracing some of the very un-Christian ideals of feminism? I think it will take a very intentional change of thought, of actively rejecting the mindset we are constantly pushed to buy into. I don’t want my desire for change to come from anger. I want it to come from Christ.

Doing Chores

Published
by
Zach Mayer
on July 18, 2008
in Community, Dialogue, Partnerships and Resources
. 4 Comments

Hopefully we all take some pride in where we live. I mean our homes, where we lay our heads down for rest, where we spend time with our family, where we eat and find shelter. Our homes can be a reflection of who we are. Some of us own our homes, others rent, some may have just a room to call home. Whatever the case, keeping that space requires care. You pick things up, put things away, take things out as you come and go, because you want to maintain your home in order to live in it.

We also have a community home, in the sense of an actual space, which includes our public meeting places at Broad and Washington and East. Here is where we interact as a community on an on-going basis. Many of us have made a commitment, a covenant, to call this our community home. A place to worship, find joy, learn to love and to do this with many different kinds of people. As we do this we create a place similar to home where we come and go, bring things in and take stuff away. There is wear and tear and we do our best to maintain the space and take pride in where we are living.

Here, I think of the analogy of doing chores as a kid. Occasionally, I had to paint a room, cut the lawn, stack firewood or others big jobs during summer break. And more consistently, I had to sweep the stairs, clean my room, do the dishes, and take care of the other daily messes that occurred. My parents often had to keep on me to do these things and sometimes had to bribe me, but in the end these things had to be done. And doing them gave me a strong sense of ownership and respect for my home.

Our communal home, the spaces at Circle of Hope that we all use, should be regarded similarly. We are all God’s children. We have been blessed with a place to call home and there will be chores to do in the course of living there. What do you do that influences our home at Circle? If you show up, it’s bound to be a reflection, in some part, of who you are. We should all be thinking about it as a home and wondering how we keep it looking and feeling like that. Because we live there, we will always be cleaning up messes, fixing doors, hanging pictures, maintaining offices and equipment. So, decide what kind of “chores” you need to do this month to care for our home at Circle.

Hope

Published
by
Rod White
on July 15, 2008
in Community, Dialogue and Uncategorized
. 6 Comments

I have been enjoying the latest work of N.T. Wright called , Surprised By Hope, Rethinking, Heaven, the Resurrection and the Mission of the Church. I recommend it to you.

He does a lot to clarify our thinking about what is really going to happen at the end of time. He does a good job at undermining the BAD thinking that has crept into Christianity from other philosophies and religions that does not fit with the revelation in scripture of what we’re looking forward to.

For instance, here is a quote: “The resurrection, both of Jesus and then in the future of his people, is the foundation of the Christian stance of allegiance to a different king, a different Lord. Death is the last weapon of the tyrant, and the point of the resurrection, despite much misunderstanding, is that death has been defeated. Resurrection is not the redescription of death; it is its overthrow and, with that, the overthrow of those whose power depends on it. Despite the sneers and slurs of some contemporary scholars, it was those who believed in the bodily resurrection who were burned at the stake and thrown to the lions. Resurrection was never a way of settling down and becoming respectable; the Pharisees could have told you that. It was the Gnostics, who translated the language of resurrection into a private spirituality and a dualistic cosmology, thereby more or less altering its meaning into its opposite, who escaped persecution. Which emperor would have sleepless nights worrying that his subjects were reading the Gospel of Thomas? Resurrection was always bound to get you into trouble, and it regularly did.”

There may be some thoughts in that quote that are new to you. But I pass it on to encourage you to think things through about your future hope. A couple of years ago, The DaVinci Code again popularized the ideas of the Gnostic “gospels” that got some followers thinking, a long time ago, that they were a spirit trapped in a body and that their spirit would be freed at death to go to heaven where they would be like angels. When we sing, “This world is not my home,” we can take it too far! We are the beloved creatures of our Creator. God will restore our home and will bring those who love him back to live with him, just like he raised Jesus. I’m not sure how it will all work, but we could be sitting on the porch with Andrea in a restored Fishtown one fine day. I’m looking forward to that.

brighter is better?

Published
by
Kristen
on July 12, 2008
in Community, Dialogue and Uncategorized
. 1 Comment

Sometimes when I’m driving at night on the highway, it’s hard to see clearly on a clear night. I believe this is not inherently due to the darkness of nighttime, but to the brightness of the headlights on cars nowadays. I don’t know for sure, cause I try not to pay attention to advertisements and commercials, but I think that lately car companies have a “brighter is better” approach that they try to sell us on when it comes to headlights. To me, considering the basics I know about the human eye and how vision works, this doesn’t make any sense.



I will sum up briefly and simply what I’ve learned about dark adaptation. Basically, fully functioning human eyes are amazing and complex and can adapt to seeing in a wide range of lighting situations. This adaptation from seeing well in bright lighting to seeing well in dim lighting happens gradually over the course of about 20-30 minutes (about the time that the change in lighting during twilight lasts). I was really aware of experiencing this for the first time when going on a night hike through the woods on a 7th grade overnight class trip. We were specifically told not to bring flashlights, and to trust that we would be able to see in the darkness in time. And soon enough, the “absolute darkness” took on shape and form, and details emerged right before our eyes as they adapted to the dark! But this wonderful dark adaptation that our eyes work up to attaining can be ruined immediately with the presence of a bright light. Exposing our eyes to a bright light, and then trying to have the same level of vision as previously when our eyes were adapted to the dim lighting, is impossible; the bright light has basically resulted in temporary blindness.

Basically, brighter headlights are great for the individuals who have them, but so detrimental to everyone else coming their way. If we all relied more on dark adaptation and tried to consider each other, the answer would be dimmer, not brighter, headlights. But doesn’t it sometimes seem that once the precedent is set, the only way for you to survive is to continually try to outshine everyone else? And this way of thinking can be found in so many different areas of life as well- how quickly this escalation can occur! Lately, I have really been feeling the sorrow of a culture where everyone seems to be trying to outshine each other. I am blessed to be a part of this community, and to explore counteracting the “brighter is better” mindset together.

A DTR with Philly

Published
by
Emily Kephart
on July 7, 2008
in Community and Dialogue
. 3 Comments

I have been feeling, recently, a certain uncertainty with life, my job, with Philadelphia. Not good or bad, just uncertain.

My relationship with Philly has changed significantly since we met in the summer of 2006. I initially came to go to grad school. It was a means to an end, before i was to live happily-ever-after, traipsing around the world. I finished grad school, but my vision of happily-ever-after changed. I wasn’t sure where to go, or what to do, or even what my purpose was anymore. Philly was there then, saying, i’m here, i’ll love and support you, stay with me. So i did, and Philly came through, with friends, community, love, coffee, a new bike, and a job that spoke to my gifts.

During this time my friendship with Philly grew. I came to know and appreciate more of its quirks, nuances, and idiosyncrasies. We developed an honest kind of friendship, that reveals each other’s strengths and weaknesses; I told Philly it was stinky and dirty; Philly told me i was self-centered and had a lot to learn about loving people who i viewed as “flawed”. I have greatly appreciated the growth i have experienced through my relationship with Philly.

Now that Philly and i have become much better friends, it has become apparent that we need to make our intentions clear. It is time for a DTR (define the relationship) with Philly.

It occurs to me that previously, i may have fallen into the category of “casual dater” with the other cities and towns i’ve lived in. I must be growing up, because i think it’s time to be intentional about being in this relationship with Philly.

I no longer need to be here for grad school.

I no longer need the supportive crutch to rebuild my direction (tho it certainly can’t hurt).

So it is time for me to decide why I am staying here. Where is this relationship going? Like any DTR, I don’t need all the answers right away I suppose, but it is time to redefine our relationship, in some way. The answers to these questions don’t need to mean it is time for me to move on, or that I should dig in for the long haul tomorrow– my analogies always breakdown eventually. The bottom line is that it is time to look at what we have here, and re-frame it. And so, over the next few days, weeks, and months, I look forward to working on this with all of you, who are represented in my personification of Philly.

It Takes a Village

Published
by
Rebekah
on July 3, 2008
in Community, Dialogue, Family and Partnerships
. 3 Comments

(by Rebekah, not Hillary Clinton)

So, I did a little experiment, and I found out why it takes two people to make a baby. It’s because you need at least two people to raise that kid, while managing the rest of your life! God bless those progressive thinkers who think they can do it alone, because I most certainly need you all, my village.

For those of you who don’t know, I am a single mother of a gorgeous 4-year-old girl named Eden. My pregnancy resulted from a casual relationship that wasn’t worth continuing when posed with the question of becoming more serious.

Luckily, at the same time (i.e. double life), I had been building real, healthy relationships with folks connected to Circle of Hope, and it’s those relationships that have seen Eden and me through. For instance, when I first told my friends at Circle about my pregnancy, they threw a party for me, and solidified their commitment of support. This was exactly the help and acceptance I needed to feel at a time when I was so scared and ashamed. Then, a group of other moms came together and provided me with a patchwork of childcare, so that I could work full-time for two years! For those of you who don’t know, full-time daycare can cost at least $600 to $900 per month. These women saved me money I didn’t have, and, more importantly, provided the peace of mind that Eden was in a safe, nurturing environment. Now, another group of friends rotates to watch Eden, so that I can attend cell group one night per week. I’m also grateful to have my blood-related family close by.

Mind you, I’m one of those people who likes to do life on her own, and not accept help, no matter how much sense it makes. I like to talk through issues with friends, but I like to resolve them myself. When initially discussing my single parenting with my mother, she warned me that one of my biggest obstacles would be that I would have to ask for and receive help. Surely, my mother knows me well, and I am on a growth journey of seeking out and taking extended hands.

All this to say, I wouldn’t necessarily advocate single parenthood, but having many of you as helpers, planners, observable subjects, affirmers, and grace-givers, makes the parenting feel a lot less single. This village we’ve created in Circle of Hope has been essential to Eden’s and my development…and sanity!