Archive for the 'Family' CategoryPage 2 of 5

Identity: Who Are You?

Published
by
Joshua Grace
on March 1, 2008
in Community, Creative Arts, Dialogue and Family
. 1 Comment

My cell took a field trip this week, and it got me thinking about identity. Vicki is a 5th grade teacher at Grover Cleveland Elementary School at 19th & Erie Ave, and she helped organize a celebration of Black History Month called “Identity: Who Are You?”.

It was pretty amazing, full of great moments in kids performing songs, dances, readings, and skits. There were lots of meaningful readings mixed in, even a singing of Lift Ev’ry Voice and Sing (not quite as good as this Kim Weston version)-which was quite moving for me to hear children singing out “We have come over a way that with tears have been watered/We have come, treading our path through the blood of the slaughtered”…man. It gives me goosebumps thinking about it. We have a long way to go, but we sure have been on the journey a while.

The question was repeated several times in different contexts- “who are you?” I’m grateful for the students and teachers of Cleveland Elementary to be so boldly asking and the students for offering such brilliant responses.

Who are you? Who do you identify with? What do you identify as? Is it your occupation? Your role in your family? Your relationship status? Your ethnic group? The brand of clothes you wear? The sports that you’re good at? In some comparison to others?

I don’t always know how to answer that question well. Even as I’m sorting through who I am, I find peace Jesus’ words in John 15. I want to find who I am not just living in Christ, but Christ living in me. I want to find who I am through us living in Christ, and Christ living in us.

Through lifting our hearts,
Through lifting our songs we learn
A new way to hear

Rejuvenation

Published
by
Jenna Avellino
on January 25, 2008
in Community, Dialogue and Family
. 6 Comments

With the start of the new year, I like to look back at my accomplishments and make goals for myself for the coming year. Looking back at 2007, I realized that in the past year I have been completely rejuvenated by new relationships. Connecting with other people and learning to share my life with new friends built my confidence and made me feel like I have something to offer and I can receive what God has to offer me.

This time last winter I was in a bad place. I had quit my full time job to try and start my own business, but didn’t know what I was doing. Working from home seemed like such a great idea until I realized that it meant me sitting in my house all winter by myself talking to my cat and feeling guilty because I couldn’t figure out how to get any work done. I was lonely and frustrated. I had a few friends that I hung out with every once in a while and my cell was not growing. My slow break out of my own self pity came simply from getting out of my house and meeting new people.

I was lucky enough to land an awesome job at Circle Thrift a few mornings a week, which made me feel like I had some purpose and got me to socialize a bit. My cell also had a growth spurt and I started building friendships with my new cell members. By the summer, my cell was thriving and talking about multiplication and I was feeling more confident that people actually wanted to hang out with me and I had good things to offer. My new found confidence also helped my business and I started getting myself out there and selling more of my work. I felt like a part of something bigger. It was something I couldn’t feel alone in my house. I was a part of this larger community, sharing my life and learning from my friends.

Looking back at the past year, the biggest thing I have learned is that I need community. I love people. I love getting to know people and hearing their stories. I think I finally understand what it means to truly share my life and my experience and how life giving that is. I learned how to see God through my friendships and see God working in the lives of the people around me. Taking the steps to get up and out of my loneliness was the best thing I could have done for myself and I thank God that I was in the midst of these wonderful people who made me feel safe and loved. Thank you, friends.

finding God in the ER

Published
by
Joshua Grace
on January 18, 2008
in Community, Dialogue and Family
. 1 Comment

I will often reflect on an event, especially a difficult situation, and look to see how God was working. It’s helpful for me to even get parabolic, even to break down the roles of an interaction and imagine who was God in the parabolic version of the situation. I learned a lot about the character of God on Wednesday when Helena broke her finger and needed medical attention.

Our little first grader was in the cafeteria about to eat her lunch. While getting onto the bench of the table she lost her balance and a pillar in the room awkwardly broke her fall when she caught her left pinky finger on the way down. It hurt. She went to the nurse for a cold pack and her finger started to swell big time. It was also quite bent. Helena told me that it looked like she had two thumbs on her left hand.

Martha picked her up and took her to the E.R. with Lily in tow. Six hours later they were ready to leave the waiting room (what a drag!), and when waiting for the doc to see her I got the call to bring up some dinner and relieve my wife. It turned out to be a fracture right above where her finger extends past her palm. She needed a cast, and to get the cast on they needed to manipulate the “new thumb.”

By 1am, the doctors were ready to put the cast on. They needed to give Helena local anesthesia by giving her several little shots into her knuckle (not a six year old’s favorite moment, as you can imagine). She was scared and it hurt (even though they sprayed her hand with “the cold stuff”) and I sat next to her and told her it was going to be okay, to breathe through it, that I was with her, and that it’s almost over. She made it, showing quite a bit of courage. She even got a pink cast (that matches all her clothes).

I think of God as the healer. We’re broken and God is the Great Physician who is going to come and heal. When healing comes, I don’t want a shot and I don’t want a cast. I want a miracle!

That night I learned a deeper sense of what God’s love as a Parent is. The miraculous healer was even understood by the people Jesus was talking to. When he scandalously referred to God as Father-even OUR FATHER-it was considered pretty much heresy.

God is not merely the delivery mechanism for a quick fix out of hard situations. I have learned this time and again. God doesn’t respond to our suffering with “ok, I’ll just make it better right now” all the time. Jesus helped bring God much closer than the stranger doctor who comes in at 1 in the morning and sticks us with needles. Jesus brought God so close as our Father who is close to us, who loves us, who suffers alongside us, and sees us through even the hardest of times. Especially in the hard times, rather than seeing myself just a patient in some cosmic doctor’s waiting room, I want to be God’s child.

I Used to Hate Christmas

Published
by
Eric Smelser
on December 25, 2007
in Community, Dialogue and Family
. 5 Comments

I used to hate Christmas. Of course when I was a kid I liked it, but I don’t think as much as the other kids. My mom struggled with Christmas, she didn’t want to spoil us, she didn’t want us to believe in Santa, and she wanted us to know what we were celebrating. But I just remember feeling like I got less stuff then all my friends. And I never really got the giving thing, it’s just so impractical. Why would I write a list of stuff I want, hand it out to people and then get their list and buy them what they want? Why not just buy this crap for myself and save everyone the trouble. My dad really loved Christmas. He would make me help him put up lights outside, up on the roof and all that. We would decorate the tree and he would hand out the ornaments one at a time, then hand out those tinsel foil icicles one at a time, it took forever. Then he would make us open presents one at atime so we could all enjoy watching each other open their presents. He loved it.

My dad died about 14 years ago. That’s when I really started hating Christmas. It was hard to be with my family for the first few years, but it felt important to be together. I didn’t enjoy the giving, the practicality thing. It all seemed pointless.

Then I met Shelley and we got married. Shelley loves Christmas (at least compared to me). She would buy presents for all her friends, co-workers, family, pets, and neighbors. She makes Christmas cookies with her cousins, her extended family all gets together. Our biggest fights of our first couple years of marriage were around Christmas. I thought it was all a waste of time and money.

In the last few years, I have really come to appreciate advent. I love the discipline of waiting; I want to instill that in myself and my kids. I am still not really sure exactly what I am waiting for though, that part of Christmas isn’t completely worked out for me yet. It seems like advent is this great solemn time that falls apart in the hustle and bustle of Christmas. How do I keep that right until Christmas day with the demands of shopping, work and travel? It’s hard for me to not just shut down and go back to my scrooge outlook and miss out. It was easier to be like that before I had kids, Shelley would forgive me for being a jerk and I could just hold out for January. But I’m getting tired of that and it’s not fair to Shelley, Chloe or Maya.

I want to find out why my dad loved Christmas so much, find out where he got his joy.

working with Jesus during Advent

Published
by
Joshua Grace
on December 14, 2007
in Action, Community, Dialogue, Family and Planning
. 2 Comments

I can’t believe that we’re half way through the season of Advent-it’s gone by quickly for me.  There are a lot of themes going on, surprises (see earlier post), as well as Jesus looking to make a home in us/looking to make a home in Christ.  I hope you haven’t been missing out, and it’s not too late for something meaningful to transpire by any stretch.
I have been talking to a lot of people this week about how they are preparing for Jesus to come or where Jesus needs to come.   I’m really interested in how we’re helping this child get birthed, kinda like like Mary & Joseph all those years ago.

Some people are new to having a season that means more than their family traditions (some meaningful, some not so much).  For others it’s the highlight of the year.  This year I started off kinda rough, with some sick extended family and other reminders of how broken I am.  After those first couple days, I am deciding to let the hurting places, the broken relationships, and my hope for restoration be the landing pad that I pray for Christ to come.

Everything might not get put back together the way that I want, but me changing me-going from hopelessly sitting with my hurts to being where I’m broken and giving it to God is transformative.  Wherever and however he comes will be miraculous, and I hope to do my part to help with the birthing process.

Where is the baby coming this year in us?  Where in you does the baby need to come and bring healing, hope, and new life?

Dec 24, at 10:45pm we’ll get together at 1125 s. Broad to welcome in midnight, to welcome in the Savior (see earlier post) .

vigil

Published
by
Martha Grace
on November 19, 2007
in Community, Dialogue and Family
. 3 Comments

Suddenly there are many “holiday” things to do…Some nice friends of mine helped me decorate at Circle Thrift this week, I have been gearing up to make art shop stuff, and am planning to revive the “most dangerous gift” series of homemade presents that I started in high school for my family of origin. These are landmarks of my holiday season which culminates at the vigil on Christmas eve. The vigil wasn’t always THE moment of the season; it used to be other stuff like seeing the lit up tree Christmas morning, or trading gifts, or the big dinner, or watching my kids open gifts, etc…

My cell is spending a few weeks hearing each others holiday stories and discerning how we can “go deeper” this time around with Jesus. We are listening, praying and reflecting on how we think God is calling us to experience the season. In thinking about my own holiday history I realized that the moment that my heart feels so full that it might break open is in the quiet celebration with my community when we first welcome Jesus into the world again together during the Christmas eve vigil. Each year I literally feel all of the pains, failures, hurts, miscommunications and disappointments in my life melt away and all I am left with is this perfect love for God and from God.

The feeling doesn’t arise because of the brilliant execution of the vigil, or the music, or how much Joshua loves me, or how clean and wholesome I am when I present myself to the new king- it happens because I am just present to who God always is, acutely aware of Jesus’ presence, and carving out time in the busiest part of the year to be an empty vessel and receive what I am always being given.

There are “perfect” moments throughout my days and my weeks and my years when alone with God I know peace and love and partnership and passion, but there is something special about having this experience with my new, chosen family, on Christmas eve. It is special because Jesus had to fight his way back into my life and I am so aware of his triumph, because it is a discipline to make Jesus’ new life more important than commercial Christmas and I am aware of our triumph, and because all the excited feelings that I had as a kid around Christmastime and have unsuccessfully tried to recreate year after year as an adult have resurfaced in their truest, purest form. I look around at midnight and can recall all the happy tears, disagreements, laughs, and misunderstandings that I have shared with all the people in the room and I know God is there willing us to love each other and to keep grinding it out when it is hard and to high five when it isn’t.

I am interested to see how our preparation and reflection on the holidays will take root in the my cell, because we are all bound to get caught up in all of our old family dramas, and hurts and disappointments, no matter how open we are to Jesus’ love and newness; we are human and have been relating in a specific way to our families and community and friends for a long time. It may take years to change the course of the ship, but it is wonderful to know that we are all together on this journey and that we have a sense of its sacredness and power.

In the autumn, in a season for changing

Published
by
Joshua Grace
on November 16, 2007
in Community, Dialogue, Family and Planning
. 1 Comment

Wind blows the dry leaves
Accenting the rich scarlet
For its time has come

Last week I got to go spend 30hrs or so at my favorite local hermitage. I’m still learning how to retreat well, and how to keep my regular discipline about getting away to be alone with God.

Sitting on the little deck of the hermitage, I was right on the edge of the woods. The wood was magnificent, leaves in the midst of changing color and falling off into a winter blanket for the earth. The air was crisp and cool, I was really in full readiness for Jesus to deliver to me my theme for the retreat and for the next couple months so that when I was asked by my friends “how was it” I wouldn’t just talk about how nice the bathrooms are there or something and talk about what Christ is saying.

Well, I waited for a while, journaled, read a couple books, drank tea and slept a bunch. I couldn’t get away from these trees (they were everywhere! kind of like Kensington!) and what they might be meaning. I didn’t get my one-liner, though…so what am I do? What can I do but wait on God, and be where I’m at.

It wasn’t until a week later that I began to understand the image a little more. The trees were being trees in a season of change, part of the ecosystem and doing their part. And it was beautiful. I want to be there, too.

The past few years I’ve been going through a lot of changes, especially 07 and looking at 08 it’s time to change more. It’s a season for Circle of Hope to change again. In the season for changing, I’m praying through a few statements.

1. I don’t want to fight to hang on to what I think I was like or the church was like during last season (try to be the green leaf tree in the middle of winter).

2. God is taking us into a new season, and I want to be that change and trust the Spirit’s ecosystem to put it all together.

3. We are like the forest. Letting things fall off and die is part of living. Spring will come, but first we must winter.

Our mapping process and Discernment Group meetings give us a lot of opportunity to process what we’ve been doing well and what we can do better. With that sense of God dwelling in us and the Spirit leading us we can be present to the changes and move to what’s next.

Shout, worship, know, enter.

Published
by
Megan Scott
on November 13, 2007
in Community, Dialogue and Family
. 3 Comments

The girl was maybe 18. It was summer, and we were all working at the local family restaurant. Like Friendly’s, but without the commercial packaging, and with bigger scoops of ice cream. I was a practiced hostess/waitress/sometime manager. I was there to earn some money for college. Anyway, the place was dead, no business except for a regular who often came in around 2 pm for a hot dog and some chips. She never left a tip so I never worried about whether she needed a refill on her Coke. Sometimes the staff would dare each other to try to get her to smile, and watch from a booth where we sat snickering and snacking.

But today the owner was around and we were all working hard, scrubbing out the refrigerators, and even under the coffee maker. We were flirting as waitresses and line cooks like to do, when one of the cooks asked, “What is love?” He was probably trying to ask the fountain girl out, but he inadvertently started a real conversation. One we all kept picking at through the evening, even when the real rush arrived and we ran around distributing hot fudge sundaes and grilled cheese. “What is love?”

The thing that stopped me, that I still hear when I remember that night, is the response from the 18 year old. Without a beat, without worrying about what the rest of us thought, she said, “God is love. Love is God.” She tried to explain what that meant through the rest of supper and on into the dessert hours. And I should have been able to help her. But it wasn’t my answer, I wasn’t willing to let God be my love yet. I am now, though it’s still hard to explain what it’s all about until you know it, which requires belief, which requires faith.

What I want now is to be able to teach it to my kids. How do you teach that God is love? The indefinable thing we are all questing for. I say I love my children, but I am selfish and human and not always righteous. What if they don’t want to know God’s love because my love is so lacking?

On Sunday I was asked to help the kids who came to the AM PM (Circle of Hope’s monthly public meeting that caters to children and families) think about Psalm 100.

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

How do you teach these earnest commands from David in such a way that when our little ones grow up they will answer without hesitancy “God is love”? How do I get out of the way enough so that my imperfect love can be replaced by God’s love?

I think I need to keep living the commands myself, and praying that I can get out of the way and let Jesus be Jesus for my kids. I need to shout for joy. I need to show up for worship. I need to know that the Lord is God, that he made me and that I am God’s. I need to enter God’s gates and give thanks. And I need to pray that when my kids do the same God will take care of the rest.

Every day I try to make things harder than they are. I want to be the troubled philosophy/theology major who claims relativism and blurs the lines of Jesus and Buddha, like I did in college. But I’m not. I’m a person who knows that Jesus is Lord and God is love. The hesitancy is gone. The Lord is good.

Hopeful

Published
by
Kim Crognale
on November 5, 2007
in Community, Dialogue, Family and Peace
. 2 Comments

I am a new mother.  Dominick, my son, is now 3 months old.  I have learned about hope from Dominick.  When Dominick was about 2 weeks old he became very fussy. Basically, anytime he was awake, he was crying.  Nothing we did seemed to help, except walking up and down the stairs.  I cried many tears of frustration during those weeks.  But I learned about a mother’s endless hope.  Because I love my little one so much and want the best for him, all I could do was hope.  I hoped that someday he would enjoy life and that he would not be fussy for the rest of his life.  In the midst of a very difficult time, I held on to the hope that Dominick would grow and develop out of his fussiness.

            I am often overcome with hopelessness.  I see our city full of violence. I see people making destructive choices. I don’t see the growth in my own life that I would like to see.  I wonder if people can really change.  But I have learned that I can have hope.  In fact, sometimes that is all I can have.  I want to love others to such an extent that I can’t give up hope, that all I can do is hope. And this hope is not an empty hope because Jesus is our hope.  He has promised us new life.

            Dominick did get better. He now smiles and is happy for longer periods of time.  He is growing and developing at such a fast rate.  His growth and development make me long for the growth and development of myself, our community, and our city.  And now I am more hopeful that it will happen.  I cannot give up trying to contribute to that growth and development because I love my city and community too much.

what’s your favorite Love Feast memory?

Published
by
Joshua Grace
on October 19, 2007
in Action, Community, Dialogue, Family and Planning
. 9 Comments

I am especially excited right now because we’re getting ready for a night to celebrate, and do 2 of the things that Circle of Hope does best: loving and feasting.

We’ve had this quarterly tradition for about as long as we’ve been around (first feast in July of 1996), and each time there has been wonderful moments of people coming together to eat, meet someone new, to worship Jesus, share the communion meal, to tell/listen to stories, have lots of fun, and to welcome people who want to take that step out and make a covenant with the others of Circle of Hope.

Let’s make new LF memories…come Saturday October 27th:

6pm at “Union Tab” -2036 East Cumberland St (map here)

3pm (before the Feast), some people want to get baptized at our usual spot in the Wissahickon Creek (map here).

A fond Love Feast memory of mine was in the Summer of 2004 when we were in Fairmount Park in Germantown.  Before most of the festivities, about a hundred of us trekked through the woods and down the hill to get to that spot on the Wissahickon so people could get baptized.   Then we trekked back up and worshiped some more and told stories, filling up the field.   I love the image of us journeying together to meaningful stops through even tough terrain sometimes and then regrouping as a visible and physical representation that Jesus lives.

 

I want to see if we can generate some remembering and some conversations on this site to help show people what’s up with the Love Feast and what it’s about. So here’s a question that I hope you’ll answer in a comment below…what is a favorite Love Feast memory of yours over the years?